Catch Me

Chapter 2;Book 1 - Note From A Friend...

Tuesday, September 1, 2009 @ 10:00 PM

I’ve read everything and it saddens me to see that everyone is like seeing the negative side of me. I thought they would see and understand this. Listen, I am always the haziqah. Yazid, remember that I once told u that I think ive changed. I was expecting that u point it out because I myself cannot see it. But when u said that ive changed, I am amazed that u thought im being a villain and being so evil all those stuffs. The truth fact is, im not. Im not changing to such an extent. I am always the haziqah however I can sense that my attitude change. Hazirah, she’s my best sister ever. Bu the question is, if I am your best sister, surely you would be open to me. Perhaps you’ve just seen the surface of me, but not the inner me. Hazirah, have u ever wonder how much that I want to be close to you. To be the best sister that will guide u ? I always wanted to be a sister that you can talk to anytime without feeling any doubt and all. I want to be the sister that go shopping with u, share secrets with you n bitch with you. But its just that, there seems to be boundaries with that. You keep on being so attitude with me. And you don’t even care to talk to me at all. You know its like, wth lah ?? Okay that is not so much of the better, but each outing together, im sure we will get closer, isn’t it ? We dislike fizah all those stuff and ayah being so “sial” remember ?? We went thru a lot. About yesterday, let me make this clear to you, I was home and mama wanted to talk to me. We had a heart to heart talk, share everything until mama asked me about yazid and you. Partly, I am angry with him and told mama even he used to like me. I think mama knows about that. I told her, he’s sweet but at times behaving like a crocodile. Haha, sume perempuan pun dier suke. Haziqah pun aper kurangnyer. Will go crazy for hawt guys but that is just for fun, isn’t it ? Mama curious about u and yazid doing at carpark and she already started to jump in conclusion. Trust me, I didn’t say anything and mama even pakse me to find out from u. I say, its ur personal and I don’t want to invade into it much. Let you be the one who spill it all. However, mama keep on saying about Zaki. She likes zaki and sing praises about him. I go against it because somehow, zaki is being a bustard for threatening and even say bad things behind you. Mama asked, dier pernah buat benda tak senonohkan ? I say, manelah tau… mama replied, ingat aku tak tau ke dier pernah cium2 zaki.. KAN ? ..

I still did not say anything because secret of yours will never I reveal… Furthermore, spilling urs means spilling mine too. Mama keep on saying about it and then I tercakap, mouth to mouth lah ! its accidentally. I swear. That is why I apologise. If not, why should I bother to keep ur other secrets ?? might as well I let it all out. Kalau yuyun nak blame ziqah pasal yuyun kene pukul, I accept. Sbb I am partly at fault. Tapi u cannot blame me totally. Mamais really concern about u. yuyun ingat tak yuyun dulu very the sotong… ingat tak ?? mama ingatkan yuyun maseh mcm dulu. That’s why…

Kalau yuyun rase sakit hati bile yuyun kene pukul semalam. Let me tell u, I endure this a lot of time. I am sure u know that I also kene pukul banyak kali. 2 months of knowing GH, how many times I kena marah and pukul ? Banyak sampai tak terkire kan? Mase yuyun kat sekolah sume, mase yuyun tgh tido, have u ever know that I kene dera with ayah ? I endure because I know they are my ray of happiness and sacrificing for them will be worth it. Ayah larang ziqah keluar dgn drg since 3 rd day I went out with them. I remember those moment very vividly. And when ayah detest me with nasrul, did I break up ? no.. because I know ayah will respect me and he just want the best out of me. Maybe ayah belum kenal drg yet. Its still the beginning, dear. Give him sometime. So selame ni, ziqah selalu kene pukul dgn ayah. Kalau yuyun atau fizah buat salah, sape yang ayah marah… sape yang ayah pukul ? he will always look at me… Kalau ader aper2, ziqah selalu kate, relax… kenape?? Sbb aper2, ziqah willing to be take over all the pains… Yuyun tau tak, ziqah sms ayah, bilang ayah, jangan pukul2 atau marah2 yuyun. Aper2 just do it on me. Because I love you, girl. You just don’t see that. Ayah maybe tak marah ziqah smlm sbb ziqah on Sunday night dah nangis2 sbb kehilangan drg… ayah marah kat drg sbb buat ziqah nangis. Yuyun tak dgr ke mase ayah pujuk ziqah ?? All I need you to know is the truth. I never intend to hurt you… if you think ive lost the trust from u, don’t u think that u’ve lost the trust from me a lot of times. If u ask me to explain, I will not be able to answer because each time, I will tend to forgive and forget. Up to date, I cannot remember what mistakes u have done to me. Big or small, hurting or whatever.

Yazid, I know you love my sis. Take care of her. I know that you can be scary when you’re angry. Nak seek revenge on me eh ? haha. Go ahead. I’ll accept. ‘cause that’s the ONLY way you can be satisfied or you might remember and dwell over it. My secret that is in your hand. Do I have a right to stop you if you wanna reveal it ? the least is that you will be better and I will suffer. I told u, I will take in all the sorrows and may all my happiness be your and as well as the rest of the gang hantu, I mean former gang hantu.

To dearest Nasrul,Amiir,Yazid,Ammirah.

I had a great time and moment with you. I know ive changed drastically but trust me, this situation has got nothing to do with my changes. And I hate it if you same kan haziqah with anybody else in this world. In this world, I will always be me. Even if I change. Revenge doesn’t wait for time. If you wanna hurt me, do it quickly. Don’t wait. The reason why I don’t want zirah not to be part of us, is in my hand. I shall not say it because I don’t see a need to. I love being all of you and I really really treasure moments together. Boonlay, COC, SC and many more. I love time being with you. Even we have been fighting, I still love laughing and bitching with you guys. Singing together, talk together, have fun together everything together. I once say that we’re like a hand. That has 5 fingers to be perfect and complete. There’s so many things I wanna say but I just don’t know where to start and how to start. Perhaps a day wont be enough. I will undur diri because I don’t seem why I am needed here. Whatever it is, I plead you guys, never separate. Stay like how we used to be. Maybe with a new member as a replacement, Hazirah. I love all of you, seriously. No words can speak this. This is beyond words can say. You guys are special in different ways and I am glad that ive met you guys and had a chance to be close with you guys. Ive learnt 2 things here.

- Its better to loved and lost than never to be loved at all

- Its not about how long it is, but how deep the love is.

Study hard, and remember to puasa okay ! I know ive eaten depan krg2 sume. Sorry lah. And maaf kalau haziqah have hurt you in any ways. But trust me, I never intend to. May you guys happy2 selalu and if ader gadoh, settle it… jangan hurt each other tau ! and jangan bully mira sgt.. kecian dier.

((:

P.S : Amiir, thanks for everything. You’re just like a mediator. Always being the middle center man. I don’t blame you if you wanna support who. After all, everyone wants to support the better side. Thanks for listening. I am okay. And help me to pass this to everyone, on my behalf. I don’t think so I could. Thanks a lotJ

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